Wow oh wow man. what a morning!
So many thoughts going on in my head right now. i’m so frustrated and annoyed but confused at the same time.😳The fact that I really just had a whole back and fourth with my son over him making his bed! See I’m at the stage in motherhood where I am trying to find the balance of teaching independence and not being mean to my kids. (or so they think). but also I have no patient when it come to some things so some times I will ask but just do it my self.
My boys are old enough to clean they room , brush they teeth, ties shoes and more . I should not have to keep doing these things for you.! hints the confusion🙄. “why am I still doing these things for you”? I love my kids so I want them to be happy so it is way easier for me to make your bed for you so you can be happy and keep playing. but in reality you need to make your own bed because mommy have a thousand other things to do around the house.
By the way my oldest son been awake since 6am. we don’t have school today so his body is just up. Jeremiah wakes up around 8am and follows his big brother jr. I wake back up to them both on the xbox at 9am. so boom I’m annoyed. did you brush your teeth? did you eat some breakfast? is your room clean? why are you on the game?
NOW TO THE BED….
Jr ask to have eggs for breakfast. so “yes son you can have eggs” . Jeremiah is just getting off his xbox so I ask him to clean his side of the room. IMMEDIATLY HE STARTS CRYING! dude what are you crying for? “(Jeremiah crying and screaming)” Now I have to clean the whole room”! Jeremiah you only need to clean your side. start by making your bed. (at this time my mind is calm. i already started helping jr start the eggs) I walk out his room. he follows right behind me screaming he can’t do it he can’t do it “mommy I need help.”! I said to him for the first time. ” Jeremiah you did not try you follow right out with me. go make your bed”
Now I am washing the dishes and helping jr cook the eggs and now we are making sausages. Jeremiah comes back out crying saying he can’t do it he needs help.
I know at this point you are thinking maybe he can’t do it… you are being mean go help him. but see the thing is I saw my son make his bed before. I’ve helped him make his bed many times. so in my head I am thinking I have to hold ground and let him do it BY HIMSELF. he is screaming he needs help. ok Jeremiah. after him coming out about 4 times I started to explain to him first by words how to put this sheet on the bed. its a fitted sheet so of course they are hard to put on.
Many of us have that issue. but the difference is we keep changing the sheet around until we get the right corners and make it fit. meaning WE KEEP TRYING. so at this point it’s not about him making the bed. now im frustrated because you won’t even try son. you are not even taking your hand and trying to get the sheet on that corner.
Im annoyed now I’m screaming at him how to do it because i’m watching him be lazy and scream he can’t do it. when he is literally physically not putting effort! so I walk out. I walk out talking crap about how he has to keep trying to figure things out. I won’t be there your whole life to make your bed.😡 Honestly I test my kids level of intelligence. I really do. I will let them struggle at something to watch they process of learning it.
I like to watch how long it may take them. I let them cry and go through they emotions until they calm down and actually say” ok fine how to I do this”? I don’t want my kids to be completely lost. i’m not the only parent like this so don’t judge. you show them how to survive and then you let them go. I have three boys. it is VERY IMPORTANT to me that my three sons do not NEED a female. I want them all to be able to live and do as needed for themselves before they move in with a girl and not depend or need her for everything.
so I went in the room I showed him a easy way to see the lines in the corner that is underneath. and to stretch the sheet make sure the short side is with the short side and the long side with the long side. the whole time i’m showing him this he is crying and screaming “your not helping me” so I scream back “you want me to do it for you” I’m here with you to show you and guide you but I refused to put my hands on the sheet and do it for you. I REALLY WANTED HIM TO FIGURE IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! his head was all mushed up and he was mad and not trying to hear nothing.
He stop to eat. because now j.r is done with the eggs lol. j.r is annoyed because we loud and he wants me to just go do it to. help him.
After they eat I tell Jeremiah keep trying to make his bed. I stopped yelling with him to start this blog of my annoyed morning. but as I am sitting here typing. j.r snucked and helped him. Jeremiah said “mommy I’m done” see I knew right away he didn’t do it alone so I test it and ask did he get help. “he smiled and said yes. I asked Jr did he help him? he said “YES MOM HE WAS STRUGGLING LOL”
Then I asked what did you help him with? did you do it for him? he replies no.
did you show and help him? he said yes he showed him long side short side like I did.
I ask did he do one side and you did the other? he said yes.
so Jeremiah won he got what he wanted at the end. HELP and he did not learn it how to do it. so another day we will try. soon to learn how to tie his shoe. which is always a fight too.
And don’t worry. I sat and explained to them both why I did that. they are not mad at me and understand. but at that time he didn’t want to learn it he wanted to play his game.