At times i feel so weak. I feel like something is in my stomach holding me down. I scare myself . With my anxiety if Iām thinking about the anxiety itself I freak out . I instantly feel like letting go. I see myself screaming so loud in my head.
I feel like I left my body . So many times I feel myself being lifted and I would shake my head and hands and body and say ācome backā I tell myself to focus. Depending where I am or what I am doing I try to calm my self.
A thought that come in my head all the time is letting goā¦. Imagine driving and ya body say ālet goā ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.u let go the wheel and āboom crashā these are the time i fight my anxiety i fight my thoughts because I have to get where Iām going safely. I am thinking harder than I should for no reason. I see myself in a box and feel trapped. To many things at one timeā¦
As I write this my heart is pounding because I think to myself what do others think when I describe the thought of my anxiety? Are their others in the world who fight they own thoughts as much as me.
I mean really I donāt remember being this way years agoā¦ I feel like it was always there but small in the corner of my head whispering things to meā¦.but since last year it grew a big mouth and started screaming in my head!! My anxiety beats me sometimes and I donāt like that
I want to be stronger againā¦ I have so many things against me and I feel so unprotected. I have so much pain and I feel so weak. I have much tears I drown years agoā¦.. Iām trying to stay afloat at least the rest of this year and then finally make it to shore.
Clear your head we can do it!
Three boys and me plus anxiety! 