In my own head😩

At times i feel so weak. I feel like something is in my stomach holding me down. I scare myself . With my anxiety if I’m thinking about the anxiety itself I freak out . I instantly feel like letting go. I see myself screaming so loud in my head.

I feel like I left my body . So many times I feel myself being lifted and I would shake my head and hands and body and say “come back” I tell myself to focus. Depending where I am or what I am doing I try to calm my self.

A thought that come in my head all the time is letting go…. Imagine driving and ya body say “let go” ………….u let go the wheel and “boom crash” these are the time i fight my anxiety i fight my thoughts because I have to get where I’m going safely. I am thinking harder than I should for no reason. I see myself in a box and feel trapped. To many things at one time…

As I write this my heart is pounding because I think to myself what do others think when I describe the thought of my anxiety? Are their others in the world who fight they own thoughts as much as me.

I mean really I don’t remember being this way years ago… I feel like it was always there but small in the corner of my head whispering things to me….but since last year it grew a big mouth and started screaming in my head!! My anxiety beats me sometimes and I don’t like that

I want to be stronger again… I have so many things against me and I feel so unprotected. I have so much pain and I feel so weak. I have much tears I drown years ago….. I’m trying to stay afloat at least the rest of this year and then finally make it to shore.

Clear your head we can do it!

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