Being abuse come in so many different forms. Being abused can ruin you mentally. give you fear in your heart once you know this human bein did this to you and … another one can. I was in a relationship where at the time I didn’t know what I was in was toxic and abuse.
It’s also hard when you see it growing up. when you witness things and think it’s normal. you don’t know any better and you are also very scared. That relationship I was in lasted five years . so for five years I cover the holes in the walls and I told no body. I pretended to have the perfect life. I pretended to be so in love and happy. but in reality I was scared all the time. I lived with a man who worked out… who I saw kick guys asses… and who would drank and come scream and drag me around. many nights I cried on the floor in the bathroom. Many nights I cried holding my baby wanting to leave and just be ok somewhere else. but the thing was. I had no where to go. At that time I had no real help or family that would support me. even tho I had only one child I knew having a child and moving into someone else home will be hard.
It wasn’t until one of our fight got so bad I ended up on the wall being choked by him … his father rushing to bust the door down as his son pushed a huge hole in the wall right by my face. by my eye…and me finally getting the balls to grab a knife so he leave me alone.
Its hard to tell some one .. you don’t know if any one will believe you. they say but you still stay there or they may say he seem like a nice guy he don’t look like he will…. LOOK MOST MURDERS DON’T LOOK LIKE MURDERS PEOPLE ! It has been 6 years . I started to speak about it more in public because I know friends who are now dealing with the same thing I once did. To give a woman or man a voice. I want to help those who feel like you are to weak to leave. YOUR NOT. THEY MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED THEM SO YOU WONT LEAVE BUT THE THING IS THEY NEED YOU TO KEEP THIER POWER! Sometimes the person is a real lame but behind close doors he get to be that strong man he think he is and beats on you. sometimes they have nothing else or other issues in their life so they try to destroy you to. But you are stronger. I GOT STRONGER…It took me two physical tries to move and leave… and .. many times in my head I planned to leave. I saw my life … I saw me dead… I saw me looking in the mirror at myself saying why are you letting him do this to you. why don’t you want better for you self?
leave for you. run for you. leave for your child. take them away so they won’t get abused or hurt. stop crying and get mad. if you have to burn something of theirs to get the balls to scream back and run off DO THAT! do what get you safe.
I will never forget it even tho me and that person is ok now. I will never surpress the feeling it gave me to live with someone who didn’t love me enough that they hurt me. I learned to never be in a relationship with a man or woman who even raise they hand towards me. or do any violent act at all. Im out , I quit it’s over. I refuse. YOU NEED TO REFUSED TO!
IF YOU CAN’T THE FIRST ATTEMP WE UNDERSTAND…. IT’S NOT ALWAYS AS EASY AS IT SEEMS.