Three boys and me plus anxiety!

Good afternoon. I wanted to take the time and process what my time was like at Disney world.let me first start by saying we took my youngest son and his brothers to Disney world for skyrikk fifth birthday. It was his first time and his brother first but second time . I say that because they went before but did not enjoy it as well as they did this time . But any who WE ARE IN ORLANDO TO SEE MY SON FAVORITE CHARACTER HOUSE ! Mickey Mouse!

It very exciting and fun and everything it say that it is. We had a blast. But our first attempt and day was stressful.

Going into Hollywood studio our first day. I tryed to bring my puppy. I wasn’t not planning on riding all of the rides I would let my children go on and stay with king. I have bad anxiety . Big issues so I got my puppy king to become my service dog.

What I did not know was that Disney has its own rules to a service animal! My puppy have a dog carrier which I had him in and I wanted to bring him because I don’t do well in small place or around tones of people standing in one place I get very Paranoid about things that are around me so I brought my puppy thinking he will help keep Me and my anxiety on a good level. When we went in to do the check in at the gate the lady stop me and ask me why I have the dog? What is the reason he is my service dog?

Do he have his vest ? And told me he could not go in but go to the green umbrella to see what they say. I go to the green area and the lady happily told me he can go in it’s no big deal “but let me double check” she go to ask the same lady that sent me there and they not told me

“Anxiety is not a reason to have a service dog that it’s not medical but she not really sure she said because she don’t have anxiety.

At that time I freak out because one” I can’t take my dog holy shit what am I ganna do ? Do I still try to go in And deal with people or do I go back to the hotel?

Second why is these people telling me my reason to have my dog is not valid? That pissed me off! You don’t know nor understand my condition and the shit I deal with on a daily basis with my own head. You are not a person to tell me my issues are not issues … I can’t wear anxiety on my face ! I don’t have something that states hey I pass out hey I black out hey I don’t like people hey I cry for no reason like how else am I supposed to describe what the hell I need a dog for!

I’m there for my kids so I suck it up…. Good thing our hotel is only 5min away so we took king back.

Getting back to Disney with a new attitude to have a great day! I instantly freak out…. Every attraction have lines and all the lines have small places or caves or mines or a close in something with a bunch of people in it!

During the times I was in line I felt my throat closing. I felt like I couldn’t breath… if the lines didn’t move after a min or two I freaked out. I looked around and tapped my feet and hands and tryed to focus on breathing….

It was the best but worse experience… for my own mental reason…. Having anxiety .. comes in many ways . But one thing for sure I try to deal with it push it down to do things I don’t want to do but sometimes have to.

Once I got home I felt like I was able to breathe again. We made it and we safe and back home. Being out of my comfort zone is hard but I definitely do it a lot either for family or friends … if it’s up to me I’ll stay in my house cover the windows and hide …but that is no life for my kids .. so I suck up so many things to keep others happy.