Im use to a routine…I function better having a schedule..I have to plan things out for everything..every moment of my life I need to know the next three steps.. I NEED to know what happens next.. I realize when I do things outta the blue ..without planning.. if I don’t know who what when why..not having a daily routine..im so off.. I get annoyed fast..i’m irritated because I may not know where i’m going when someone randomly say hey lets go here real quick..or me going somewhere..if its not planned mentally..my body won’t get up and make me go. I make excuses not to go then plan it for the next day or like now i’m working for myself.. this has been the most hardest challenge for me because there is no routine.. I don’t know everything.. the next day can be anything.. I work on so many projects right now. one day is boat work next restaurant work or candles. and now my dumb ass if taking on resin art.
Having anxiety keeps from focusing ..theres no order..not having a steady pay.. not knowing what you’ll make one week or the next .im fighting myself to make my small business work. because its a challenge for myself. I want to defeat my anxiety and live outside of what we are raise or taught to do I have to make a routine schedule for my resin art and candles. get myself more organized.. my brain can’t function on all this sometimes but its so fun I learn so much. im only 31 I still have time. I want to control my anxiety without pills. I want to be good at something. I want to leave my kids work. I want to win y’all but this REALLY FUCKS WITH MY HEAD #ANXIETY.