Three boys and me plus anxiety!

Each and everyday I watch tv..the news..shows..cases.. I get more into what if…. I have three boys who will turn into men soon. three half black but brown looking men. Right now our time in the world in my eyes are bad. There are so many young men boys and men dying for so many…

A good day for me is no harm to me …. A good day to me is a day no one is judging me to my face. A good day is going to work and accomplishing my job. A good day is no anxiety day. A good day is my kids coming home to me.…

“To hear the phrase “our only hope” always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn’t work, there is nothing left.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

Smoking was nothing I was into when I was younger. I honestly didn’t know much about it until high school. A lot of my friends was doing it and I never really cared what they were doing. Im not the person to wonder and copy people. Now I smoke I smoke for my anxiety. I…

I think about it all the time the older I get I ask myself what the fuck? I mean honestly we need so much to survive….food ..clothes… can’t be in certain temperature..cant eat certain things and our own mind take over and drives some of us crazy! we were not made perfect in any way!.…

Ya know we go our whole lives trying to meet people and learning everything about them but we don’t truly know who we are.I mean really. we go what’s your bday? what’s your fav color?what is your five year goal? why y’all broke up?what job you got? CRAZY! WHOLE TEST TO DATE AND HANG OUT…

It’s crazy to me all the different things and ways a child may feel safe. These things mean something big to your child or any child. Today I realize a backpack made my child feel safe…I really think my son had a whole panic attack about his back pack. So it started with a busy…

I swear you have to be born to do this.You really have to be OK every day there’s not a day where you can really break down what happens when you break down as a mother? Everything falls apart because you are the glue what happens if you just decide to stop one day? Everything…

I AM! For as long as I remember I have been this way. Its hard to not be upset with a person when you never got your point out. Im stuck there. im stuck there because I cut u off because at the time I didn’t want to hurt you. but often I am stuck…

Today was a good day. The last two days I have been able to wake up and feel normal I have not felt weak nor the need to throw up. I been feeling normal . Which is great to feel like myself on these two day. What am I doing different? I started to take…

Sorry is all I can ever say to those who try to love me . Im not ready. I will never be if a person keep trying to force me to heal. you will only get hurt back why because I wasn’t ready to let go of things or people when you wanted me to.…

It was 2am in the morning. Star couldn’t sleep. As always she had a hard time trying to stay asleep. twisting and turning each night. she would try hard to find a way to stay asleep. She wanted to be normal again. she wanted to sleep and wake up like normal people do. She couldn’t…..her…

The worse thoughts are the thoughts you would never do . Sometimes anxiety can really bring fear to your heart. I often scare myself with my thoughts. I can say I fight it all the time. I don’t ever want to give in. My anxiety is strong 💪 but I’m stronger and i fight to…

How do you know who is really there for you.? do you really know a person. I have seen so many stories with people who has been married to people who had double lives. a person who they thought was the most loved person in the world has done something to hurt some one or…

Today is Sunday and Friday and Saturday its just me and sky. the house is so quiet…. he off on his phone… next to mommy while I watch my favorite show riverdale. what a rainy day even. not nice enough to play outdoor so we cuddle in the bed doing our favorite things. relaxing. football…

Since covid I have not taken my kids trick or treating . I love to celebrate Halloween. I enjoy dressing them up in what ever cartoon they like. But lately things in the world have not. Web the same. Covid and people dying all over the place. So this year we will cut our pumpkins.…

Omg My boys argue over everything! The smallest thing they will go back and fourth about. They will get in the car after school and argue about what time it is . One phone say this time they other is just guessing and no where near close to telling time. But they will go on…

My whole life I have been trying so hard to find someone to love me the way I need to be love. Relationship are very tricky and love triangle destroy things. Family turn on you spouses hate you and then who do you have left… for me my kids still remained. My boys stilled loved…

Did you know that if you think to hard about something you can really make it happen. A panic attack is just that… you think to hard about what is happen you literally freak out . I try to remember to breath… I try to remember when I use to be ok and didn’t think…

Good afternoon. I wanted to take the time and process what my time was like at Disney world.let me first start by saying we took my youngest son and his brothers to Disney world for skyrikk fifth birthday. It was his first time and his brother first but second time . I say that because…